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lissa_jade

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lissa_jade
  • Town/Country : Nebraska, united states
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 920
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lissa_jade : i'm melissa.
21 year old student at UNO.
criminal justice/pre-med major and lover of all things chocolate.

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lissa_jade's favorite FMLs

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7035) - you deserved it (98297)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19195) - you deserved it (32189)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28991) - you deserved it (5943)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35543) - you deserved it (9882)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
494 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (47499)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31413) - you deserved it (2998)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67083) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

#12978486
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24470) - you deserved it (11361)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (11945)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML

#7845812
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34455) - you deserved it (2445)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by bluebride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41605) - you deserved it (1902)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29023) - you deserved it (6667)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13477) - you deserved it (39592)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60082) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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