About lissa_jade : i'm melissa (:
lissa_jade's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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lissa_jade's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML
by gilbirds / 02/06/2013 at 7:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals
by Amathiel / 12/29/2012 at 10:23am / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Health
Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML
by PissOffPottermore / 09/13/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by belieber101 / 03/17/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Miscellaneous
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Jayde / 02/04/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by shitttyyyday / 01/14/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Health
by embarrassed / 11/11/2011 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids
by yobruh / 05/17/2011 at 12:54am / Kids
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek
- Today, I went on what I thought was a third date. After I paid the $100 bill at the restaurant, she… Today, my large dog sprinted outside to see my step dad because he thought he was going on a walk.… Today, I am stuck on an eight hour long train trying to revise for my exams. The man sitting behind…
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…