Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 May 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2062
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About lissa_jade : i'm melissa (:

lissa_jade's page activity

Visits<b>CeizMac13</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Shimashita</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 6:51am<b>psychedelicdezzy</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 7:12pm<b>brentt2711</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 11:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 3:51pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 4:09pm<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:13am<b>bbackensto</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:56am<b>dakota133</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 6:59am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:53am<b>Brian2911</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:24am<b>UserError94</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 4:46am<b>elsie23</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Camwentz</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 2:35am<b>kevinivek</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 6:34pm<b>xninix</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:05am<b>Chinhull</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:54pm<b>ashley_passion06</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:21pm

Fucked!<b>psychedelicdezzy</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:13am<b>dakota133</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:00pm<b>WinterChild</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:54am<b>Chinhull</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:48pm<b>JackHuason</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:18am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:42am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 6:16pm<b>rallison22</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:38pm<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 7:29am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:57am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:46am<b>krishgad</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:19am<b>MBavnsgaard</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:47pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:28am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:52am

lissa_jade's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of lissa_jade's badges

lissa_jade's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML


I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (1698)

On 09/22/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by gotmilk? - United States (Florida)

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (8329)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (29952) - you deserved it (4511) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (3067)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17773) - you deserved it (32515)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46217) - you deserved it (29475)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43254) - you deserved it (5115)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50052) - you deserved it (7119)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52526) - you deserved it (9801)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39235) - you deserved it (13177)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (52435) - you deserved it (6823)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51939) - you deserved it (4582)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49786) - you deserved it (5783)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: