lissa_jade

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lissa_jade

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lissa_jadelissa_jade
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2432
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About lissa_jade : i'm melissa (:

lissa_jade's page activity

Visits<b>BurritoQueen</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 8:34pm<b>EgyptPride</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 5:06am<b>tweak2011</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 9:33am<b>dr_akkus</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:43pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 7:23am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:48pm<b>bbackensto</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 9:15pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 11:55am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 1:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 11:36am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 3:39pm<b>Idiot_Penguini</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 1:56am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 5:03pm<b>tiitsmcgee</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 12:46pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 12:03pm<b>kevinjiang</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 8:34am<b>lungjiao</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 1:33am<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 1:16am

Fucked!<b>EgyptPride</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 11:06am<b>dr_akkus</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:52pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 5:36pm<b>kevinjiang</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 2:34pm<b>stalkinator</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:54am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:53pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:01pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 2:18am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 9:53am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:15am<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 2:25pm<b>PDSot</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 1:00pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 1:34pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 9:10am<b>Neut</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:25am<b>tobyw95</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:28pm<b>psychedelicdezzy</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:13am

lissa_jade's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of lissa_jade's badges

lissa_jade's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML

by gotmilk? / 09/22/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

by Marika / 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

by bleue / 04/23/2015 at 8:27am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

by hellalegit / 11/07/2014 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

by SofaKingPretty / 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (California) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work