About lincolnick4 : nothing to say about myself really.
lincolnick4's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
lincolnick4's favorite FMLs
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
by rolyat / 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by noname / 04/27/2012 at 8:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
by Fartfail / 04/18/2012 at 9:43am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
by orangechicken / 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by Jen / 03/20/2012 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Gabi / 02/20/2012 at 9:23am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
by sadddddd / 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML
by RohnAbheek / 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm / India (Maharashtra) / Intimacy
Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML
by Miguel / 08/20/2011 at 3:40pm / United States / Geek
- Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure.… Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them… Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in…