Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lincolnick4

Search for a member

lincolnick4
  • Town/Country : Singapore, Singapore
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 November 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 795
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lincolnick4 : nothing to say about myself really.

lincolnick4's last visitors

MisterCrosscnparks1990krad204MxAxRxCxOCharmEchoTobamfgrizzlybear26whitevenomgracehijasonmarkatydid91

lincolnick4's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lincolnick4's badges

lincolnick4's favorite FMLs

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

#19667895
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (1877)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm - health - by shanxi (man) - United States

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11839) - you deserved it (32165)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

#19558140
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (3262)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

#19536517
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22369) - you deserved it (3819)

On 04/27/2012 at 8:04am - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38706) - you deserved it (3514)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22500) - you deserved it (4656) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

#19490295
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20676) - you deserved it (8039)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

#19489197
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18513) - you deserved it (4238)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22008) - you deserved it (2498)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17557) - you deserved it (4788)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML

#19311891
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22553) - you deserved it (4604)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Jen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (17834)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

#19121562
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (5221)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:23am - intimacy - by Gabi - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (6108)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33712) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: