About lincolnick4 : nothing to say about myself really.
lincolnick4's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
lincolnick4's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML
by kilamo80 / 07/27/2013 at 5:26am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
by trailertrashyanditsucks / 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by amiezingme / 07/26/2013 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by dareyale / 07/26/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML
by WhyThankYou / 07/26/2013 at 1:31am / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
by sucksatlove / 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 2:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML
by scrotumscratcher / 07/25/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Aggressive / 07/24/2013 at 9:12am / Ireland (Dublin) / Holidays
Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML
by Iamdisappointed / 07/24/2013 at 7:50am / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.…