Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lilpsyco

Offline (the 03/03/2015 at 10:51pm) | Search for a member

lilpsyco

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 December 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1059
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About lilpsyco : There is a strong possibility my name is Liam.

I try to not judge anyone by appearance, sexual preferences, or past mistakes.

My favorite bands are:
Avenge Sevenfold, Disturbed, Five Finger Death Punch, Bullet for My Valentine, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Stone Sour, Black Veil Brides, August Burns Red, Asking Alexandria, My Chemical Romance, We As Human, and Slipknot

PujwI' HIvlu'chugh quvbe'lu'.

Not to be rude, but if you actually have the time or desire to read the entirety of this then you may need to reevaluate your priorities.

lilpsyco's page activity

Visits<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 8:29pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:34pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:40pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 1:12am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:08pm<b>umerin</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:30am<b>speakersboom</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:25pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:13pm<b>quizzy77</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 3:41am<b>CTPope74</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:00am<b>snazman12</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Amanyyyyyy</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:53pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:30pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 4:54pm<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 9:52pm<b>GreentacoDerp</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 4:08pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 8:06pm

Liked!<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:39pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:43am

lilpsyco's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of lilpsyco's badges

lilpsyco's favorite FMLs

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42188) - you deserved it (5980)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43701) - you deserved it (16611)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (6061)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43155) - you deserved it (9407) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37747) - you deserved it (6335)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42543) - you deserved it (13809)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44302) - you deserved it (3093)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18880) - you deserved it (35802)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53732) - you deserved it (5445)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38325) - you deserved it (6021)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45345) - you deserved it (8472)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42665) - you deserved it (4409)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49540) - you deserved it (22224)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55267) - you deserved it (5709)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: