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Offline (the 11/29/2016 at 5:29am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4736
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lilmisstif's page activity

Visits<b>Fyrepower</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 3:45pm<b>bomberos_08</b> - the 10/29/2016 at 7:30pm<b>rgnrk</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 12:35am<b>treyzthename</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 5:35pm<b>isaiahizaivh</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 1:24pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 8:05pm<b>stevenJB</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 9:28pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 5:10pm<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 11:54pm<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 5:46pm<b>dommiebear</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 11:48am<b>TehEpicBlack</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 10:37pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 2:51pm<b>colton646746</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 12:59pm<b>NewYorkMexPR</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 10:28pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 6:21pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 4:01pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 3:44pm

Fucked!<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 11:46pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 10:01pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 9:04pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 3:26am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 6:01pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:55am<b>platypus546</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 6:26am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 6:52am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 12:35pm<b>xTommytheGUNx</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 8:03pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:48am

lilmisstif's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lilmisstif's badges

lilmisstif's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. When he slid his penis in, he felt my NuvaRing, and with the most excitement I've ever seen a man muster, said, "Oh my god! You have your clit pierced! I can't believe I actually get to have sex with a girl who has her clit pierced!" FML

by ArsonistsLullaby / 09/21/2016 at 5:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I sent my daughter to her dad's house for the week. She decided to pack my remotes and most of my clothes and shoes, in an effort to make me come get her as soon as I noticed. FML

by Forever_Cursed / 06/28/2016 at 10:02am / United States (Florida) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my six-year-old daughter organized a treasure hunt… for our cat. She hid the contents of an entire bag of cat food all around the house. FML

by seatle girl / 06/27/2016 at 8:43pm / France (Picardie) / Kids

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

by sauve dino. / 03/24/2016 at 11:12pm / Kids

Today, I was sleeping peacefully with my cat sweetly snuggling my legs under the covers. My husband dutch-ovened her, and she shredded my calves as she rushed to escape. FML

by injuredwifelady / 02/23/2016 at 3:23am / United States (Nebraska) / Animals

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

by bubblewrap / 10/20/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

by fuck no / 08/22/2015 at 6:18am / India (Kerala) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

by stillhungry / 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

by lehonX9 / 06/06/2015 at 5:11am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

by henrylikestreats / 04/30/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

by njh / 03/27/2015 at 9:29am / Ireland / Kids