lilmisstif

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lilmisstif

5Fucked!

lilmisstiflilmisstif
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3662
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lilmisstif's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 4:06am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 12:52am<b>Malcazar</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 10:57pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 7:51am<b>OlRed</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 6:16pm<b>platypus546</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 11:13pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 10:48pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 6:58pm<b>Mons</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 2:04pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 1:29am<b>spiderwebb888</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 11:49pm<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 6:48pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 6:35am<b>xTommytheGUNx</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 2:03pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 10:18pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:18am<b>revidffum69</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 9:13pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:01am

Fucked!<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 6:52am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 12:35pm<b>xTommytheGUNx</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 8:03pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:48am

lilmisstif's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of lilmisstif's badges

lilmisstif's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

by sauve dino. / 03/24/2016 at 11:12pm / Kids

Today, I was sleeping peacefully with my cat sweetly snuggling my legs under the covers. My husband dutch-ovened her, and she shredded my calves as she rushed to escape. FML

by injuredwifelady / 02/23/2016 at 3:23am / United States (Nebraska) / Animals

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

by bubblewrap / 10/20/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

by fuck no / 08/22/2015 at 6:18am / India (Kerala) / Intimacy

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

by henrylikestreats / 04/30/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

by njh / 03/27/2015 at 9:29am / Ireland / Kids

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

by bugger / 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm / Intimacy

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

by frozenpoo / 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm / United States / Kids

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

by smellyhair / 11/02/2014 at 6:28am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids