lilhellian

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Offline (the 03/15/2015 at 5:31pm)

lilhellian

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7945
  • Number of comments : 1819
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lilhellian : I have accepted the duty of the being an assassin against comments such as "thats shitty." I dont just snip, I'm capable of being a ninja. I am The Puppy Assassin. I has a female pomerian chipmunk baby named joey with squeakychipmunk! I am atheist...

lilhellian's page activity

Visits<b>endurancefan212</b> - yesterday at 4:50pm<b>sassykenzie</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 3:05am<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:42pm<b>miriamfrank</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 3:38am<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:20pm<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 11:23am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:00am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:04am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 6:13am<b>biggins224</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:08am<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:59pm<b>skylanderninja</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 12:33am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 6:09am<b>risher01</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 8:44pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:37pm<b>brother4sale</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:25pm<b>cmat84</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:21am

Fucked!<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 9:20pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 2:38am<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 2:18pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 5:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:48pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:21pm<b>SirFawkes</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:40pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:02am<b>Kazze</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:06am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:53am<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:24pm<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:50pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:17pm

lilhellian's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lilhellian's badges

lilhellian's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new boss gave everyone a lecture about sexual harassment in the workplace. Which would be fine if he'd been able to tear his gaze off my chest for more than a minute at a time. FML

by hypocrite / 07/03/2012 at 12:43pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

by Addison / 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML

by pon-3 / 06/22/2012 at 5:13pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

by Rohirus / 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm / Sweden / Miscellaneous

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

by sick and awkward / 05/20/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

by picklet / 05/12/2012 at 10:36am / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Work

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

by Hunter101 / 05/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

by Ashamed / 04/20/2012 at 3:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I failed my driving test. I rammed into the parallel parking poles, ran a stop sign, and stopped at a cross intersection. My instructor called me an idiot. FML

by Brittany / 03/27/2012 at 10:38pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML

by MattBC97 / 03/27/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

by Niles / 03/20/2012 at 1:46pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2012 at 1:46am / United States / Work

Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML

by courtneynaked / 02/07/2012 at 8:47am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous