lilhellian

Search for a member

Offline (the 03/15/2015 at 5:31pm)

lilhellian

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8225
  • Number of comments : 1819
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lilhellian : I have accepted the duty of the being an assassin against comments such as "thats shitty." I dont just snip, I'm capable of being a ninja. I am The Puppy Assassin. I has a female pomerian chipmunk baby named joey with squeakychipmunk! I am atheist...

lilhellian's page activity

Visits<b>Lesbiantrash</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 11:49pm<b>endurancefan212</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 4:50pm<b>sassykenzie</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 3:05am<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:42pm<b>miriamfrank</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 3:38am<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:20pm<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 11:23am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:00am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:04am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 6:13am<b>biggins224</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:08am<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:59pm<b>skylanderninja</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 12:33am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 6:09am<b>risher01</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 8:44pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:37pm<b>brother4sale</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:25pm

Fucked!<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 9:20pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 2:38am<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 2:18pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 5:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:48pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:21pm<b>SirFawkes</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:40pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:02am<b>Kazze</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:06am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:53am<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:24pm<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:50pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:17pm

lilhellian's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lilhellian's badges

lilhellian's favorite FMLs

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

by SApprentice / 12/19/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm / United States / Love

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

by drkate25 / 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML

by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch / 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

by junkie / 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

by daughterinlaw / 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

by I said whaat / 12/18/2012 at 11:50am / Kids

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

by Dog_Lover / 12/18/2012 at 10:30am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love