lilauer13

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Offline (the 01/06/2016 at 3:56pm)

lilauer13

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lilauer13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 March 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1896
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lilauer13 : I love to laugh that is why I am on this site. Anything you want to know ask.

lilauer13's page activity

Visits<b>ShelbyMariah</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:31am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:27pm<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 6:27pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 5:11pm<b>skye147</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:58am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 3:36pm<b>GrungeGeek17</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:51am<b>FunnnyGirrl</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:28pm<b>daisynugget</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:39am<b>boomergrl</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:32am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:59am<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:13pm<b>Shipley18</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 11:21am<b>DianeDecay14</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 9:03am<b>rachelllllb</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:10am<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:52pm<b>curlytop101</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:02pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:44am

Fucked!<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 6:09am<b>skye147</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:40pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 11:40pm<b>kramona</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:35am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:22am

lilauer13's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of lilauer13's badges

lilauer13's favorite FMLs

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

by markyvilla / 04/14/2011 at 9:09pm / United States / Transportation

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

by fail / 04/14/2011 at 6:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2011 at 12:32am / United States / Love

Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML

by Gretchen / 02/24/2011 at 8:56pm / Kids

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend snuck into my house and hid in my closet. Knowing that I have a phobia of people jumping out of closets, he nonetheless thought it would be funny to see how I'd react. I had a panic attack and was taken to the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2011 at 3:56am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

by Annie / 02/24/2011 at 1:39am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

by Karl / 02/21/2011 at 6:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said I look too ugly when I cry to do it seriously in person. FML

by Jules / 02/21/2011 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

by O.o / 02/20/2011 at 3:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 9:51am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

by PlayboyBunny / 02/19/2011 at 2:20am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 2:35am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

by justmyluck? / 02/17/2011 at 10:02pm / Miscellaneous