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lil_ham1644

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lil_ham1644
  • Town/Country : Fresno
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 March 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1180
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lil_ham1644's FML badges

50 quality responses

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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lil_ham1644's favorite FMLs

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (2467)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (8577)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38341) - you deserved it (8327)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42559) - you deserved it (3726)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19392) - you deserved it (48013)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47499) - you deserved it (4110)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38180) - you deserved it (4806)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36581) - you deserved it (3353)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40179) - you deserved it (8511)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

#21103666
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52165) - you deserved it (3264)

On 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm - love - by wiona (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38388) - you deserved it (8671)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45677) - you deserved it (5623)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35362) - you deserved it (5333)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38471) - you deserved it (16142)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

#21099355
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35837) - you deserved it (6151)

On 03/29/2014 at 1:03pm - animals - by Galaxy (man) - Belgium (Limburg)



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