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lighter123

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lighter123

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  • Number of visits : 1610
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lighter123's page activity

Visits<b>companion</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 2:42am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 2:35am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 8:47pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 3:33am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 9:16am<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 9:33am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 1:08pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:17pm<b>AllegroRubato</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 7:50pm

lighter123's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of lighter123's badges

lighter123's favorite FMLs

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

#20830424
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47919) - you deserved it (11246)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:48am - love - by fml (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59516) - you deserved it (5437)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44278) - you deserved it (3175)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

#20829515
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (6664)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:23pm - intimacy - by hunchback of notre bite (woman) - Korea, Republic of

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47643) - you deserved it (17789)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48138) - you deserved it (23141)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41704) - you deserved it (3673) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

#20824199
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50583) - you deserved it (4410)

On 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm - love - by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54253) - you deserved it (18230)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

#20821459
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37563) - you deserved it (16990)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:28am - animals - by fetch boy.. - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

#20821432
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43329) - you deserved it (4513)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:11am - health - by seriously? - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70279) - you deserved it (9281)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38457) - you deserved it (6357)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60304) - you deserved it (7640)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47509) - you deserved it (8006)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



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