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lighter123

Offline (the 07/21/2015 at 3:27am) | Search for a member

lighter123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1961
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lighter123's page activity

Visits<b>companion</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 2:42am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 2:35am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 8:47pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 3:33am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 9:16am<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 9:33am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 1:08pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:17pm<b>AllegroRubato</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 7:50pm

lighter123's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of lighter123's badges

lighter123's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of "Who the hell's this?" FML

#21127076
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41117) - you deserved it (4438)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52410) - you deserved it (4407)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while playing basketball, my friend thanked me for passing the ball to him. I was too embarrassed to tell him that that was me shooting. FML

#21106910
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34956) - you deserved it (4681)

On 04/07/2014 at 4:54pm - misc - by DetergentFrog6 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51879) - you deserved it (8576)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49989) - you deserved it (13153)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49527) - you deserved it (6761)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (37493)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53955) - you deserved it (7451)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

#20900063
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43572) - you deserved it (4123)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:45am - misc - by -__-" - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

#20899979
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (4676)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:16am - work - by browngirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62059) - you deserved it (7269)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

#20899435
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38902) - you deserved it (2715)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by ouharguohargssdf (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML

#20899091
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47845) - you deserved it (4150)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Serbia



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