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lighter123

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lighter123
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  • Number of visits : 576
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lighter123's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25668) - you deserved it (37578)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50150) - you deserved it (25049)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41670) - you deserved it (3819)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38281) - you deserved it (3162)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20298) - you deserved it (83356)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

#20880120
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43550) - you deserved it (4783)

On 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by -___- (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42201) - you deserved it (4988)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36731) - you deserved it (6056)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44881) - you deserved it (4919)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

#20878650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40963) - you deserved it (3493)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by WTF - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

#20878205
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54819) - you deserved it (3869)

On 09/12/2013 at 10:44am - love - by whyme (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42834) - you deserved it (6992)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54518) - you deserved it (8925)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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