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  • Number of visits : 198
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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lightcookie's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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lightcookie's favorite FMLs

Today I Tried To Pick Up A Girl By Asking Herhat The Time Was As A Conversation Starter. She Responded By Telling Me It Was Time To Pick A Girl More In League. FML

#20537800
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31884) - you deserved it (8439)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Yesterday, I was holding the door open fir a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked y she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the ( No MSG ) sign meant u couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I Met My Grlfriend's Parents For The Frst Time. As I Shook Her Father's Hand, He Squeezed With An Ungodly Amount Of Force, Leaned In With A Smile, And Murmured That My Balls Will Be The Next Thing He'll Crush If His Daughter Ever Complains About Me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (5293)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom . When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." mega FML

#20510302
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous tat I got tongue-tied and ten blurted out, ( Stupid autocorrect. ) FML

#20501923
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16809) - you deserved it (28186)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally calld the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explaind that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excusd herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (35854)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

yesterday I finally found the courage to ask a guy I lyk out fir a drink. He accepted, we drank, an when it cummed time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him dad's number instead. FML

#20489080
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11557) - you deserved it (29986)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by 3some? uh, no (woman) - Dominican Republic

Today, tha rollarcoastar I was on stuck upsida down for a faw minutas. I shat mysalf in tarror. Than, gravity took affact. raal FML

#20480979
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41876) - you deserved it (9833)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today , at mah 6-year-old son's brthday party , I had to explain to mah boyfriend that it's not okay to use condom as party balloons . FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29294) - you deserved it (5906)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (2715)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Taday my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walkd into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, coverd in ketchup. She laughedhen I began to scream. FML

#20460540
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40984) - you deserved it (4273)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today... my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently... being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (7113)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisse is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (2733)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, mah daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw Les Misérables . I was singing along to one of the songs when looool the guy next to me dumpd his soda over my head and told me to shut up . FML

#20447311
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17364) - you deserved it (94240)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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