lifearikson

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Offline (the 09/22/2015 at 6:43pm)

lifearikson

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3623
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lifearikson : just cruising along

lifearikson's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:42am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 2:26am<b>EMOHATE</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:26pm<b>Roxy4102</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 9:58am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:55am<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:07am<b>jsrpooh</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:08pm<b>li_Zerkaa_il</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 7:59pm<b>Da_Bozz</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:28am<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:23am<b>drewski_14</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:59pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:06pm<b>PyroTim</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:51am<b>KingArtica</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:44am<b>CPTC23</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 10:39pm<b>JakeMagMan</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 10:14pm<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Tomgirl_Julie</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:04pm

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lifearikson's favorite FMLs

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

by where do they come from / 07/01/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

by anikah / 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

by help me / 06/01/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

by lahiros / 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

by needanotherbed / 05/28/2014 at 10:21am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love