Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lhazz11

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

lhazz11

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3191
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About lhazz11 : A bisexual track star who likes to eat and draw

lhazz11's page activity

Visits<b>Sethan01</b> - 6 hours ago<b>kingkobrastrikes</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:20am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:17pm<b>kerrycakes</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 8:01pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:25am<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:54pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:07pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 11:30am<b>nalalizzy</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 10:29pm<b>BeccaBoo2010</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 7:27pm<b>Monster27</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:26pm<b>JocelynKaulitz</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 5:02pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:27pm<b>dEnVeRkUsH</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:55am<b>maigan332</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 10:17pm<b>Rosstapher</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 10:27am<b>badnelly123</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 10:22pm

lhazz11's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of lhazz11's badges

lhazz11's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50316) - you deserved it (4742)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37141) - you deserved it (4281)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33263) - you deserved it (19097)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22530) - you deserved it (1907)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23894) - you deserved it (1544)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34792) - you deserved it (4001)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23112) - you deserved it (2275)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18499) - you deserved it (6889)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (3779)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25492) - you deserved it (7586)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27162) - you deserved it (2225)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24271) - you deserved it (4311) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24271) - you deserved it (4311) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (3585)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9380) - you deserved it (14468)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: