lhazz11

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lhazz11

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 August 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5750
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About lhazz11 : A bisexual track star who likes to eat and draw

lhazz11's page activity

Visits<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 9:39pm<b>beffnytutt</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 11:31am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 10:35pm<b>lost7702</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:45pm<b>lazylahma</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 6:44pm<b>FoxOne</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 2:16am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 8:28pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 1:53pm<b>jelrid</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 8:32pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 7:54am<b>vtfan2319</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:43pm<b>DS0128</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 3:54pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:24pm<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 5:02pm<b>killthedead</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:27am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:48pm<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 4:56pm<b>whatcouldgowrong</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 3:07am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:53pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:21am

lhazz11's FML badges

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lhazz11's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

by -_- / 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm / Isle of Man / Kids

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

by mmmretail / 05/25/2013 at 1:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

by JamiesMom / 05/13/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:33am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love