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lhazz11

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lhazz11
  • Town/Country : 'Merica!
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 August 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1242
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About lhazz11 : Snowboarder, soccer player, track runner, eater of all the things.

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lhazz11's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40610) - you deserved it (5166)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40053) - you deserved it (2788)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
188 comments

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
112 comments

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (16289)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46149) - you deserved it (4663)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47695) - you deserved it (4224)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50564) - you deserved it (6645)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I realized I'm getting my period pretty soon. How? I started crying and throwing plates because I thought we were out of sweet bread. FML

#20825062
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37689) - you deserved it (14333)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:51am - health - by FuckYouMotherNature - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed hysterically and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62837) - you deserved it (8191)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51596) - you deserved it (8253)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

#20808454
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44598) - you deserved it (6514)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39789) - you deserved it (8728)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43244) - you deserved it (31578) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53848) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam



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