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Offline (the 01/01/2015 at 5:23am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11521
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About lexxiii : This site makes me happy because I like seeing other people in pain along with me. Always live life to the fullest, though. You never know when it will be gone.

I love kittens, science, and film all in that order.

lexxiii's page activity

Visits<b>gar2014</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 5:13pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 7:24pm<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 8:48am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:41am<b>cbbart</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 12:43am<b>SouL_WraitH</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 1:06am<b>oreo00</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 11:22pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 9:49pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 8:30pm<b>tentedjewel</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 6:02am<b>mlia_usually</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 12:03am<b>Idiedtwice</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 4:53pm<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:51pm<b>bagelbaron</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 2:46pm<b>lightningclicks</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:04pm<b>pengyvan</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 12:23am<b>JZAMORA777</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 1:48pm<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 8:03pm

Fucked!<b>emanhernandez</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 6:17pm<b>SouL_WraitH</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 7:06am<b>bagelbaron</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 8:46pm<b>xninix</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:16am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:15pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:18pm

lexxiii's FML badges


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lexxiii's badges

lexxiii's favorite FMLs

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

by protoplasm stole my seat / 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

by juvenile friends suck / 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 1:12am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

by dudeyouarefired / 12/20/2012 at 3:16am / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Love

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 3:31am / United States / Health

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

by fineididntwantkidsanyway / 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same one. FML

by Dave / 11/29/2012 at 9:22am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

by sarahhbear / 11/17/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2012 at 10:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

by NotAnExcuse / 11/07/2012 at 12:58am / United States / Transportation