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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3lexiieeex3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5836
  • Number of comments : 385
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

#21354177
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (9744)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm - misc - by assholedad (man) - United States

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29332) - you deserved it (3332)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML

#21310909
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31380) - you deserved it (3297)

On 12/03/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by crazy cat lady - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38371) - you deserved it (2635)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36460) - you deserved it (2409)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49256) - you deserved it (3481)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31631) - you deserved it (2523)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34410) - you deserved it (12307)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

#21275511
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40498) - you deserved it (3239)

On 10/11/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by Forge (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36406) - you deserved it (3063)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)



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