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lemmalongsnail

Offline (the 06/10/2014 at 4:59pm) | Search for a member

lemmalongsnail

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  • Number of visits : 408
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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lemmalongsnail's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

#3863732
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47601) - you deserved it (12571)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by blackntangirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

#3811279
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49770) - you deserved it (2923)

On 07/16/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by search_me (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

#3741978
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57570) - you deserved it (4530)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51193) - you deserved it (17954)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

#2445222
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11362) - you deserved it (63484)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by jazzyfizzle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46752) - you deserved it (11590)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

#796416
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74831) - you deserved it (41050)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52472) - you deserved it (98404)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

#150793
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46379) - you deserved it (13562)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:58am - love - by hellosaila (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43600) - you deserved it (362695)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

#517
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (1862)

On 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm - work - by Fuzy - Sent from mobile version



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