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lemmalongsnail

Offline (the 06/10/2014 at 4:59pm) | Search for a member

lemmalongsnail

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  • Number of visits : 539
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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lemmalongsnail's page activity

Visits<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 3:02am<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 7:44pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 6:12pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 3:04pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 4:38am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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lemmalongsnail's favorite FMLs

Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML

#14608702
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35741) - you deserved it (3524) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

#14183645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (2216)

On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML

#14150656
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33305) - you deserved it (5202)

On 12/10/2010 at 3:24am - misc - by augh -

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12874) - you deserved it (52338)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55264) - you deserved it (8159)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML

#11430477
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32936) - you deserved it (4397)

On 06/24/2010 at 4:02pm - work - by kbartlett86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML

#11123342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35879) - you deserved it (3901)

On 06/11/2010 at 10:33am - health - by MegahnDN - United States

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

#8248979
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23725) - you deserved it (6059)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by freakingow (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

#7423840
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (2659)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49759) - you deserved it (5752)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25614) - you deserved it (3162)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

#6707808
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23112) - you deserved it (3996)

On 12/11/2009 at 11:44am - intimacy - by ps3isbetterthanme (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I learned that you should always make sure the car is in 'park' before you get it on wildly in it. FML

#6383461
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6363) - you deserved it (27375)

On 11/20/2009 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Ellen - United States

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

#5903153
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24013) - you deserved it (3883)

On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50085) - you deserved it (4203)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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