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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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lemmalongsnail's favorite FMLs
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Love
Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Florida) / Geek
by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids
Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML
by kbartlett86 / 06/24/2010 at 4:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by MegahnDN / 06/11/2010 at 10:33am / United States / Health
by freakingow / 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/18/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
by Concussed / 01/17/2010 at 1:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML
by suuuuuupucci / 12/25/2009 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML
by ps3isbetterthanme / 12/11/2009 at 11:44am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy
by Ellen / 11/20/2009 at 7:56pm / United States / Transportation
by JohnB / 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML
by epicc1584 / 07/30/2009 at 8:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was on my way home from a long night shift, exhausted beyond belief. While walking down my… Today, my five year old daughter asked me why I wipe with sticks. I was very confused, so she then… Today, like we do every year, my family and I went on vacation. Also today, like she does in every…