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lemmalongsnail

Offline (the 06/10/2014 at 4:59pm) | Search for a member

lemmalongsnail

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  • Number of visits : 434
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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lemmalongsnail's favorite FMLs

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

#19533059
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (3275) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (2667)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24134) - you deserved it (3194)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

#19144549
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9174) - you deserved it (28523)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by wobble... - Australia

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32013) - you deserved it (5467)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29216) - you deserved it (3751)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML

#17948133
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47314) - you deserved it (3471)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm - love - by DyingPlants (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (9239)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37958) - you deserved it (2359)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML

#17064956
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42061) - you deserved it (3847)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by cocacoola (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML

#15991792
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32830) - you deserved it (9785)

On 04/30/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13408) - you deserved it (39674)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34401) - you deserved it (3295)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58088) - you deserved it (6295)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML

#14882919
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41906) - you deserved it (4174)

On 02/07/2011 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by anonomous - United States (Florida)



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