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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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lemmalongsnail's favorite FMLs
Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML
by Magicgwen / 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm / Miscellaneous
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by Jordan / 04/08/2012 at 6:37am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by wobble... / 02/23/2012 at 6:29am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
by southernpride93 / 11/18/2011 at 10:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML
by DyingPlants / 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by cocacoola / 07/11/2011 at 10:24am / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/30/2011 at 3:03pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health
Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML
by BadgerSpirit / 04/27/2011 at 9:35am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML
by anonomous / 02/07/2011 at 2:51pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished… Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake… Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of…
- Today, after asking my manager how his day was going he explained that he stopped drinking and was… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to…