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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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lemmalongsnail's favorite FMLs
by erockinthesuburb / 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by lovehurts / 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Cereal_mistress / 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML
by AwkwardPotato / 07/01/2013 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
by maybe dead in a day / 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
by mfischer / 11/16/2012 at 4:40am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Love
by kfenton / 09/29/2012 at 7:16am / United States / Love
by wherermypants / 08/02/2012 at 1:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Luna / 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
by Damn / 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm / United States / Health