lelouch988

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Offline (the 05/17/2015 at 4:14pm)

lelouch988

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2240
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lelouch988's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of lelouch988's badges

lelouch988's favorite FMLs

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

by gassygirlfriend / 05/10/2015 at 4:40am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

by pleasedie / 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

by Innocence / 02/13/2015 at 12:33pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

by awkwardpineapples / 01/07/2015 at 10:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

by marie0908 / 12/17/2014 at 12:29am / France (Aquitaine) / Intimacy

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

by konacoffee17 / 12/14/2014 at 12:15am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

by .__. / 12/07/2014 at 3:10am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

by aprouddaddy / 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm / Kids

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

by maddieex / 12/03/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

by jigglypluff / 11/19/2014 at 12:27am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy