Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

laurennatkins

Search for a member

laurennatkins
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 78
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

laurennatkins's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of laurennatkins's badges

laurennatkins's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (168034) - you deserved it (25760)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (617602) - you deserved it (414134)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49039) - you deserved it (93063)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML

#232729
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (154796) - you deserved it (9285)

On 03/07/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by Pissed Off (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

#210718
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20457) - you deserved it (235771)

On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218833) - you deserved it (28163)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

#169913
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169332) - you deserved it (13634)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by xo_lezz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

#153348
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24543) - you deserved it (196498)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - health - by ugh!! (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213936) - you deserved it (73295)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (152658) - you deserved it (44638)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: