About laurenasabutton : I'm Lauren.
I tend to strongly disagree with a lot of what I read in the comments section, and am often shocked at some people's opinions.
About laurenasabutton : I'm Lauren.
laurenasabutton's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
laurenasabutton's favorite FMLs
Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
by Abby_gummibear / 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by Ldp56 / 02/25/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 3:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML
by jenabp / 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
by sydysyd / 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
by freedomofmusic / 11/14/2010 at 1:54pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 4:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML
by Lisaaa / 10/27/2010 at 7:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/10/2010 at 10:56am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/08/2010 at 7:24am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health
- Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there… Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are… Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then…
- Today, like we do every year, my family and I went on vacation. Also today, like she does in every… Today, I saw a cute girl working at one of those fancy pizza places. I gave her a tip and she gave… Today, I was playing video games when my balls felt itchy. I had been sick for the past few days so…