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laniparis

Offline (the 01/15/2016 at 5:29pm) | Search for a member

laniparis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 December 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3771
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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laniparis's page activity

Visits<b>ebonyirony</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:22pm<b>TSFboy</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:01am<b>_just_joshin_ya</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 8:33pm<b>CaroBear</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:37am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:32am<b>DawnofDark</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:32pm<b>fluff23</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:53am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 6:25am<b>Rinelric1998</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:21pm<b>gmian</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Tucking_Fypo</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 8:46am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 1:44am<b>Sebas11</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 11:26am<b>1243wj</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 2:44pm<b>Starter</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 5:31pm<b>cynicalhumanist</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 5:15pm<b>sigrak0</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 7:06am

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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laniparis's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that while most people drunk text, I drunk clean. And by drunk clean I mean put my things away where I won't be able to find them, like my car keys. FML

#21500495
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19914) - you deserved it (3852)

On 12/05/2015 at 6:15pm - misc - by Anon - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

#21491232
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (2913)

On 11/11/2015 at 11:52am - health - by The horror... (woman) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML

#21491152
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (5496)

On 11/11/2015 at 7:18am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, on my way back to work after lunch, my airbags deployed at a stop sign. FML

#21490921
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (1563)

On 11/10/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 35-year-old husband that "Honda" and "Hyundai" are two separate car companies, not to two different pronunciations of the same one. FML

#21489040
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20721) - you deserved it (1994)

On 11/05/2015 at 11:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

#21488826
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20189) - you deserved it (2344)

On 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm - health - by EnderHorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

#21398409
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28722) - you deserved it (8638)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by almost_a_pro - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35305) - you deserved it (3431)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35354) - you deserved it (8599)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43183) - you deserved it (4160)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36228) - you deserved it (6111)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42868) - you deserved it (2927)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44859) - you deserved it (10806)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40588) - you deserved it (5703)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)



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