Search for a member

Offline (the 10/16/2016 at 9:28am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5259
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

laniparis's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 2:54pm<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 11:26am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 10:46pm<b>shotoftequila</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 12:05pm<b>nephilim241</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:05pm<b>ebonyirony</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:22pm<b>TSFboy</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:01am<b>_just_joshin_ya</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 8:33pm<b>CaroBear</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:37am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:32am<b>DawnofDark</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:32pm<b>fluff23</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:53am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 6:25am<b>Rinelric1998</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:21pm<b>gmian</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Tucking_Fypo</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 8:46am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 1:44am<b>Sebas11</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 11:26am

laniparis's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of laniparis's badges

laniparis's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that while most people drunk text, I drunk clean. And by drunk clean I mean put my things away where I won't be able to find them, like my car keys. FML

by Anon / 12/05/2015 at 6:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

by The horror... / 11/11/2015 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Luton) / Health

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2015 at 7:18am / Work

Today, on my way back to work after lunch, my airbags deployed at a stop sign. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 5:50pm / United States / Work

Today, I had to explain to my 35-year-old husband that "Honda" and "Hyundai" are two separate car companies, not to two different pronunciations of the same one. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

by EnderHorse / 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

by almost_a_pro / 04/23/2015 at 9:43am / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

by ring-a-ding-ding / 12/06/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

by camerashyguy / 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

by immature / 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Work

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

by makeyourselfathome / 09/17/2014 at 8:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

by blazon_paradox / 09/16/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous