lameuser

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Offline (the 10/19/2015 at 5:36pm)

lameuser

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 April 1935 (81 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3302
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About lameuser : Pigeons

Pigeons

The all great and mighty pigeons.

lameuser's page activity

Visits<b>TheBroCodeBros</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 10:47pm<b>SilentSin</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:43pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 5:29pm<b>kikihp731</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Afroman720</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 12:09pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:59pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 11:10am<b>shinklefly</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:38pm<b>BaDumTsss</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 11:59pm<b>jaakeeyy1</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 4:26pm<b>umerin</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:37am<b>bromie22</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 6:01am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:59am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:42am<b>miliaras93</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 5:10am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:20am<b>DucHung</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:06am<b>jerzjay</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:05am

lameuser's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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lameuser's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm moving out of the house. My little sister can't wait and I've never seen my dad so happy. FML

by Not Wanted / 09/06/2014 at 9:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, artwork that I had been working on for months was destroyed, leaving me almost in tears. The culprit? A lonely pigeon who'd got into the room and shat all over it. FML

by rc2981 / 06/13/2014 at 6:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug / 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

by augiedd / 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

by fuck you, jack / 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

by give me an F / 01/05/2014 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

by LeaveHimAlone / 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

by Anon / 12/18/2013 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

by um...no? i don't think so anyway / 12/15/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2013 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

by :/ / 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Love