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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13567
  • Number of comments : 3042
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:19pm<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:59pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:01pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 8:34am<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 7:09pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Mons</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:33pm<b>doge_ram</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:50pm<b>swishy25</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:35pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Mr_Guy_Dude</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:41pm<b>unpossible</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:27pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:13pm<b>ChimeraThorne</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:12pm<b>Broseidon93</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:07pm<b>chaylea</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:34pm

Fucked!<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:35pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:43pm<b>FlashlightBob</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:44am<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:51am<b>openminded8</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:14pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>ThatGuy878</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (1439)

On 11/24/2015 at 12:45pm - kids - by wellfuckyoutoo - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got several angry messages on Facebook, demanding to know how I could cheat on my wife. They didn't believe me when I said I had no idea what they meant. Turns out my wife made a sarcastic post about my "new mistress". She was talking about Fallout 4. FML

Today, I hit it off with a girl at a club and I brought her back to my place. I was sure I was finally going to score, until my useless cat attacked her as we walked upstairs. She fell down the stairs and dislocated her ankle. Just my luck. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22559) - you deserved it (4305)

On 11/07/2015 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out that my new boyfriend is a "Men's Rights Activist". FML


I agree, your life sucks (20282) - you deserved it (6716)

On 11/05/2015 at 4:15pm - love - by not my bf anymore - United States

Today, I figured out why my 'best friend' hasn't talked to me in weeks. She assumed an FML post she read was about her. It was posted in 2009. I met her last year. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (1563)

On 11/02/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by likecomeon - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother in law basically said I deserve my breast cancer, all because I declined to take part in one of her "March Against Cancer" events a while ago. I guess donating money to cancer research instead of going on a meaningless march really messed up my karma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26610) - you deserved it (1604)

On 10/31/2015 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (2380)

On 10/30/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my long time girlfriend flew across the country to visit. My asshat roommate decided to introduce himself to her while I was in the bathroom. She left and won't answer my calls. He won't tell me what he said to her. FML

Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27810) - you deserved it (1578)

On 10/21/2015 at 7:40am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (5072)

On 10/18/2015 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26124) - you deserved it (2553)

On 10/16/2015 at 11:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (2048)

On 10/15/2015 at 8:57pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend because she wanted to be with a man who has an income and a stable career. We are seniors in college and I accepted a really good job offer which I start once I graduate, which she knows about. She dumped me for a drug dealer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (1981)

On 10/15/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by WTF (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to my cousin's house. I left my bag on the couch as my aunt instructed, only for my cousin to take it and throw it into the swimming pool. My laptop, textbooks and notes were soaked. My exam is in a week, and my aunt won't punish her perfect little angel. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28764) - you deserved it (1655)

On 10/14/2015 at 9:21am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (5313)

On 10/13/2015 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

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  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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