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lacey117's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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lacey117's favorite FMLs
by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat / 01/01/2015 at 12:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Katthebamf / 09/28/2014 at 10:25am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML
by fastfoodslave / 09/06/2014 at 2:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids
by gag reflex / 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by SirTalkaton / 08/03/2014 at 1:38pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML
by lostintdot / 07/31/2014 at 7:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by look how totally not racist I am! / 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, after much thought and serious consideration, I nervously admitted to my boyfriend that I'm… Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of… Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the…