kylie31

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kylie31

285Fucked!

kylie31kylie31
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6850
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kylie31 : I have always considered myself a reasonably intelligent and pretty confident person (also super modest).

I am not one for writting bio information. I hate bio information. But I have succumbed to peer pressure and have poured myself a glass of wine. Perhaps this glass of wine has sparked something in me to write some silly information under this 'about you' section. I hate wine!

So something about me. I have noticed alot of people write quotes they live by. I hate quotes! Dodgy dumb quotes are dopey. Like I hate statuses that say 'like for like'!!! Do you think the likes of Charles Darwin, Da Vinci, Einstein and Galileao got to where they did from writting 'like for a like'? And no, it wasn't because they didn't have facebook, it was because they weren't braindead shits. Now go forth, live by your own experience and knowledge and invent your own standards to live by. I must mention I do like Dalai Lama quotes- they are good. I like Dalai Lama quotes.

kylie31's page activity

Visits<b>kingdutchhy</b> - yesterday at 9:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 10:28am<b>Jdgreen429</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 12:33pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 11:02pm<b>DrProfessor777</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 7:40pm<b>swint777</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 12:54pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 7:28am<b>PrinceMO</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:28pm<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 6:23am<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 8:30pm<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 1:09am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 9:06pm<b>crazypeach</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:05am<b>jgwyh</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 1:02am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 9:31pm<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:46am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:21am

Fucked!<b>Jdgreen429</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 6:34pm<b>kingdutchhy</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 5:34pm<b>jgwyh</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:32am<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 12:16am<b>lambda</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:42am<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:36am<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 6:49am<b>lesnotbehonest</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 9:55pm<b>supermarxiste75</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Phat_Tony</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 4:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:35am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:43am<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:18am<b>Bleublancrouge</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:28pm<b>Montiphelia</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:44am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 10:43pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 2:47pm<b>yayhoo16</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:10am

kylie31's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of kylie31's badges

kylie31's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

by Job Seeking / 01/22/2013 at 6:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

by almostkilledmyself / 12/29/2012 at 2:30am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

by Alone / 12/28/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Love

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

by ananymous / 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids