kylie31

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kylie31

284Fucked!

kylie31kylie31
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6499
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kylie31 : I have always considered myself a reasonably intelligent and pretty confident person (also super modest).

I am not one for writting bio information. I hate bio information. But I have succumbed to peer pressure and have poured myself a glass of wine. Perhaps this glass of wine has sparked something in me to write some silly information under this 'about you' section. I hate wine!

So something about me. I have noticed alot of people write quotes they live by. I hate quotes! Dodgy dumb quotes are dopey. Like I hate statuses that say 'like for like'!!! Do you think the likes of Charles Darwin, Da Vinci, Einstein and Galileao got to where they did from writting 'like for a like'? And no, it wasn't because they didn't have facebook, it was because they weren't braindead shits. Now go forth, live by your own experience and knowledge and invent your own standards to live by. I must mention I do like Dalai Lama quotes- they are good. I like Dalai Lama quotes.

kylie31's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 6:12pm<b>swint777</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 7:56pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 7:28am<b>kingdutchhy</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 10:34am<b>PrinceMO</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:28pm<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 6:23am<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 8:30pm<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 1:09am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 9:06pm<b>crazypeach</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:05am<b>jgwyh</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 1:02am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 9:31pm<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:46am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:21am<b>mlove2291</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 6:01am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 10:16pm<b>natattck</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 10:02pm<b>dmargolis</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 9:35am

Fucked!<b>kingdutchhy</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 5:34pm<b>jgwyh</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:32am<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 12:16am<b>lambda</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:42am<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:36am<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 6:49am<b>lesnotbehonest</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 9:55pm<b>supermarxiste75</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Phat_Tony</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 4:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:35am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:43am<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:18am<b>Bleublancrouge</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:28pm<b>Montiphelia</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:44am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 10:43pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 2:47pm<b>yayhoo16</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:10am<b>DrProfessor777</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 5:39pm

kylie31's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of kylie31's badges

kylie31's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 8:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

by QueenOrangeSoda / 05/01/2013 at 5:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Work

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML

by defrauded / 03/08/2013 at 1:44pm / United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute) / Money

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

by cls_x / 02/24/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML

by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous