Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kylie31

Online | Search for a member

kylie31

36Liked!

kylie31kylie31
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2524
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About kylie31 : Hi
I'm 24 years of age, I love video games, Tolkien, Star Wars, DR Who... stuff like that.

kylie31's page activity

Visits<b>snowaholicmxz</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Arni792</b> - 8 hours ago<b>fatiezzhm</b> - 9 hours ago<b>badmandilon</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Wheatbreadman</b> - 22 hours ago<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - yesterday at 9:39am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:38pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:20am<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:07am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:29am<b>Cloco98</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 12:35pm<b>jessal</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:46pm<b>kct101</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:25am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 6:59am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 2:03am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 9:12pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 6:51am<b>Kasparkilo05</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 6:25am

Liked!<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:21pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:04pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:29am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:12am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 12:55pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:14pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:12pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:41am<b>reiichan</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:43pm<b>jaakeeyy1</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:05pm<b>snowaholicmxz</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:39pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:54am<b>Sailer16</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:04am<b>thatoneguy12304</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 7:15pm<b>martini47</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:45pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:40am<b>bab3ruthl3ss</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 9:08pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 2:41pm

kylie31's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of kylie31's badges

kylie31's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48965) - you deserved it (20716)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76921) - you deserved it (3656)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68153) - you deserved it (19313)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48065) - you deserved it (9179)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56941) - you deserved it (12757)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82315) - you deserved it (4292)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

#20559802
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (2305)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44329) - you deserved it (3293)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39070) - you deserved it (5690)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41968) - you deserved it (15721)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21417) - you deserved it (61382)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML

#20535847
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32035) - you deserved it (2702)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:44pm - money - by defrauded (woman) - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33266) - you deserved it (3619)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: