Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kylie31

Online | Search for a member

kylie31

50Fucked!

kylie31kylie31
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3081
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About kylie31 : Hi
I'm 24 years of age, I love video games, Tolkien, Star Wars, DR Who... stuff like that.

kylie31's page activity

Visits<b>js48</b> - 2 hours ago<b>ZY1431</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Mons</b> - 6 hours ago<b>brainymes</b> - 20 hours ago<b>RA91</b> - yesterday at 6:23pm<b>krishgad</b> - yesterday at 11:56am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - yesterday at 10:18am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:37am<b>Honeyholic5</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:30am<b>nikkichanxoxo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:07am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:41pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:49pm<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:40am<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:26am<b>Bree06</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:52am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 9:17am<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:18am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:32pm

Fucked!<b>Mons</b> - 2 minutes ago<b>RA91</b> - yesterday at 12:23am<b>Honeyholic5</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:30am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:26pm<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:11am<b>tranced_</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:52am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:35pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:53pm<b>Valdrek</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:47am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:30pm<b>davetherave1983</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 11:20pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>jaw11691</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:21pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:04pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:29am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:12am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 12:55pm

kylie31's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of kylie31's badges

kylie31's favorite FMLs

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38814) - you deserved it (5731)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45332) - you deserved it (4745)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30406) - you deserved it (16232)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38626) - you deserved it (5131)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39454) - you deserved it (3528)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49978) - you deserved it (4041)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37770) - you deserved it (4329)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45191) - you deserved it (3428)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

#21033122
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41631) - you deserved it (7657)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by I.Want.Food. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62169) - you deserved it (27029)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (7974)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: