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kylie31

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kylie31
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 397
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About kylie31 : Hi
Im 24 years of age and teach at my local high school. I teach computers and history.

Love: video games, Tolkien, Star Wars, DR Who... stuff like that, im a geek!

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kylie31's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7082) - you deserved it (106073)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

#1879175
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22783) - you deserved it (133664)

On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112116) - you deserved it (5483)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML

#1479703
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77160) - you deserved it (3767)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17780) - you deserved it (213661)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (448490) - you deserved it (25554)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (655073) - you deserved it (48790)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (151317) - you deserved it (25344)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140493) - you deserved it (10852)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (219967) - you deserved it (12952)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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