kylie31

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kylie31

283Fucked!

kylie31kylie31
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6210
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kylie31 : I have always considered myself a reasonably intelligent and pretty confident person (also super modest).

I am not one for writting bio information. I hate bio information. But I have succumbed to peer pressure and have poured myself a glass of wine. Perhaps this glass of wine has sparked something in me to write some silly information under this 'about you' section. I hate wine!

So something about me. I have noticed alot of people write quotes they live by. I hate quotes! Dodgy dumb quotes are dopey. Like I hate statuses that say 'like for like'!!! Do you think the likes of Charles Darwin, Da Vinci, Einstein and Galileao got to where they did from writting 'like for a like'? And no, it wasn't because they didn't have facebook, it was because they weren't braindead shits. Now go forth, live by your own experience and knowledge and invent your own standards to live by. I must mention I do like Dalai Lama quotes- they are good. I like Dalai Lama quotes.

kylie31's page activity

Visits<b>PrinceMO</b> - yesterday at 2:28pm<b>Moskaaa7</b> - yesterday at 6:23am<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 8:30pm<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 1:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 11:11am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 9:06pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 3:27pm<b>crazypeach</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:05am<b>jgwyh</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 1:02am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 9:31pm<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:46am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:21am<b>mlove2291</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 6:01am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 10:16pm<b>natattck</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 10:02pm<b>dmargolis</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 9:35am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 5:51pm

Fucked!<b>jgwyh</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:32am<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 12:16am<b>lambda</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:42am<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:36am<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 6:49am<b>lesnotbehonest</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 9:55pm<b>supermarxiste75</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Phat_Tony</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 4:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:35am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:43am<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:18am<b>Bleublancrouge</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:28pm<b>Montiphelia</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:44am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 10:43pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 2:47pm<b>yayhoo16</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:10am<b>DrProfessor777</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 5:39pm<b>Maldy</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:23pm

kylie31's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of kylie31's badges

kylie31's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed I spend so much time with my cats that I tend to hiss at things that scare me or that I don't like. I'm turning into a cat. FML

Today, my boyfriend cooked us a romantic dinner using the oven. The oven he recently hid $3,000 in for safekeeping. We essentially just spent thousands of dollars on a casserole. FML

by Lucachoo / 09/21/2015 at 8:35pm / United States (California) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when I woke up, one half of my face was smooth and clear and the other half looked as if I got slapped by the Hand of Puberty itself. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

by Angus / 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm / France / Kids

Today, I arrived 10 minutes early to my orthodontist's office to get my braces off. It turns out my appointment was actually one hour earlier, and now the next available appointment is in four weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 8:43pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

by SilentSin / 08/24/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

by blow me / 08/07/2015 at 12:36pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

by elovan / 07/25/2015 at 4:33am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2015 at 2:18am / Work

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

by Marika / 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2015 at 11:37am / Croatia (Grad Zagreb) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

by WolfAvenge / 05/21/2015 at 4:01am / United States (Arizona) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy