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kylie31

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kylie31

266Fucked!

kylie31kylie31
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5326
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kylie31 : I have always considered myself a reasonably intelligent and pretty confident person (also super modest).

I am not one for writting bio information. I hate bio information. But I have succumbed to peer pressure and have poured myself a glass of wine. Perhaps this glass of wine has sparked something in me to write some silly information under this 'about you' section. I hate wine!

So something about me. I have noticed alot of people write quotes they live by. I hate quotes! Dodgy dumb quotes are dopey. Like I hate statuses that say 'like for like'!!! Do you think the likes of Charles Darwin, Da Vinci, Einstein and Galileao got to where they did from writting 'like for a like'? And no, it wasn't because they didn't have facebook, it was because they weren't braindead shits. Now go forth, live by your own experience and knowledge and invent your own standards to live by. I must mention I do like Dalai Lama quotes- they are good. I like Dalai Lama quotes.

kylie31's page activity

Visits<b>AggieMike77</b> - 3 hours ago<b>LaceysBabe</b> - 4 hours ago<b>10nachoman10</b> - 6 hours ago<b>mominlaw</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Bonngoo</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Arnoud</b> - yesterday at 12:49am<b>oobergoober89</b> - yesterday at 8:55pm<b>pred8885</b> - yesterday at 8:49pm<b>Bhuffman94</b> - yesterday at 8:35pm<b>RA91</b> - yesterday at 8:02pm<b>Maldy</b> - yesterday at 4:22pm<b>914smv</b> - yesterday at 10:52am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 3:00pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:57pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:13pm<b>jdw17</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:17pm<b>eezila</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:22pm<b>cookimonstur</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:55am

Fucked!<b>Maldy</b> - yesterday at 10:23pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - yesterday at 9:28pm<b>914smv</b> - yesterday at 4:53pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:32pm<b>getoffmyscreen</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:15pm<b>Arnoud</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:38pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:24pm<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 6:56am<b>prout92340</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 12:03pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:28am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:43pm<b>hardcorefan16</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 10:58pm<b>johny93</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:49pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 10:36pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:14pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 1:32am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Vitani_Verci</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:19am

kylie31's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of kylie31's badges

kylie31's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29278) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

#21469567
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35414) - you deserved it (2451)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, I arrived 10 minutes early to my orthodontist's office to get my braces off. It turns out my appointment was actually one hour earlier, and now the next available appointment is in four weeks. FML

#21464662
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (7764)

On 09/04/2015 at 8:43pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (10248)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

#21453135
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22388) - you deserved it (3151)

On 08/07/2015 at 12:36pm - health - by blow me (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

#21446894
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11290) - you deserved it (19797)

On 07/25/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by elovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML

#21445322
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11521) - you deserved it (49503)

On 07/22/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30928) - you deserved it (8544)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML

#21425895
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29742) - you deserved it (3257)

On 06/14/2015 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (39693)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32766) - you deserved it (4829)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30774) - you deserved it (4806)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

#21403035
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20242) - you deserved it (23307)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by RavingLunatic (man) - United States (Arizona)



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