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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4926
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kylie31 : I have always considered myself a reasonably intelligent and pretty confident person (also super modest).

I am not one for writting bio information. I hate bio information. But I have succumbed to peer pressure and have poured myself a glass of wine. Perhaps this glass of wine has sparked something in me to write some silly information under this 'about you' section. I hate wine!

So something about me. I have noticed alot of people write quotes they live by. I hate quotes! Dodgy dumb quotes are dopey. Like I hate statuses that say 'like for like'!!! Do you think the likes of Charles Darwin, Da Vinci, Einstein and Galileao got to where they did from writting 'like for a like'? And no, it wasn't because they didn't have facebook, it was because they weren't braindead shits. Now go forth, live by your own experience and knowledge and invent your own standards to live by. I must mention I do like Dalai Lama quotes- they are good. I like Dalai Lama quotes.

kylie31's page activity

Visits<b>jerzjay</b> - 4 hours ago<b>juice_33</b> - 12 hours ago<b>youngmuller1</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Mackade</b> - yesterday at 1:46am<b>Toonice45</b> - yesterday at 12:07am<b>LaceysBabe</b> - yesterday at 12:19pm<b>stuckintime</b> - yesterday at 5:20am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 10:13pm<b>erindgentry</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:51pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 10:56am<b>AdrianFoo21</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:17pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 8:20am<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 1:10am<b>victordstory</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 11:40pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:50pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 7:04am<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:26am<b>Mons</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:39am

Fucked!<b>LaceysBabe</b> - yesterday at 6:19pm<b>stuckintime</b> - yesterday at 11:20am<b>AdrianFoo21</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 3:17am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 6:15am<b>Arni792</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 5:41am<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 11:43pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 11:35pm<b>bigcountry13</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 12:40pm<b>disgruntledchef</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 10:08pm<b>rootbeercheese8</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:59am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:08am<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 5:40am<b>ScenePanda45</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 4:14am<b>DemonBoy1988</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 10:51am<b>A07</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 7:27am<b>Balaj</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 12:00am<b>RusticChick</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:49am<b>Xaian1</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 11:43am

kylie31's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of kylie31's badges

kylie31's favorite FMLs

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML


I agree, your life sucks (19857) - you deserved it (1472)

On 11/18/2015 at 9:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26186) - you deserved it (7981)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (2298)

On 11/13/2015 at 11:32am - misc - by eyegouger15 (man) - United States

Today, a kid came into the classroom I teach in to tell me there was "something" in the girls' toilets. "What kind of something", I asked? I was not expecting the answer "A period mural". FML


I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (3013)

On 11/09/2015 at 2:33pm - kids - by Kidsthesedays (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (5296)

On 11/06/2015 at 5:39pm - misc - by honk honk, fuckwad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (2550)

On 10/16/2015 at 11:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24554) - you deserved it (2622)

On 10/08/2015 at 11:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend fed a "random mushroom from the woods" to my rabbit. It then had a violent seizure and died. He claims it must have been from "natural causes". FML

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21196) - you deserved it (5961)

On 10/02/2015 at 5:01pm - intimacy - by sad-boing (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I noticed I spend so much time with my cats that I tend to hiss at things that scare me or that I don't like. I'm turning into a cat. FML

Today, my boyfriend cooked us a romantic dinner using the oven. The oven he recently hid $3,000 in for safekeeping. We essentially just spent thousands of dollars on a casserole. FML

Today, when I woke up, one half of my face was smooth and clear and the other half looked as if I got slapped by the Hand of Puberty itself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23157) - you deserved it (1755)

On 09/21/2015 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (2939)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34640) - you deserved it (2401)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, I arrived 10 minutes early to my orthodontist's office to get my braces off. It turns out my appointment was actually one hour earlier, and now the next available appointment is in four weeks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21829) - you deserved it (7648)

On 09/04/2015 at 8:43pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

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