Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kyleighb17

Online | Search for a member

kyleighb17

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 312
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kyleighb17's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of kyleighb17's badges

kyleighb17's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

#21203235
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45681) - you deserved it (6394)

On 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by HeartToFart - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39951) - you deserved it (4872)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (4313)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53139) - you deserved it (4547)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

#21188342
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41327) - you deserved it (5551)

On 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57246) - you deserved it (5301)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

#21179816
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41330) - you deserved it (4678)

On 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm - work - by Shannon - United States (Michigan)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (52762)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52633) - you deserved it (4624)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

#21175255
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45109) - you deserved it (5729)

On 06/15/2014 at 7:10am - love - by ToddlersWife - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my mom found out that I've been having counselling behind her back for the past 4 years. I broke down in tears explaining everything. Her response was, "So you go and bitch about me behind my back?!" And she wonders why I'm depressed. FML

#21174174
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49666) - you deserved it (5268)

On 06/14/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46451) - you deserved it (6647)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

#21165721
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39353) - you deserved it (7302)

On 06/07/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by embarrassed girl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (4516)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: