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kungfuzoey

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kungfuzoey

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  • Number of visits : 2361
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kungfuzoey's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 9:54am

kungfuzoey's FML badges

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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kungfuzoey's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30061) - you deserved it (1994)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

#21409473
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31056) - you deserved it (2331)

On 05/13/2015 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30506) - you deserved it (3013)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29323) - you deserved it (4292)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (3364)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

#21399911
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30212) - you deserved it (5929)

On 04/26/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

#21392030
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30664) - you deserved it (2302)

On 04/11/2015 at 9:53pm - misc - by scared4myhair - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30316) - you deserved it (3286)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

#21361049
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29212) - you deserved it (3045)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm - money - by HaliMali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

#21360278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (677) - you deserved it (2734)

On 02/21/2015 at 8:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36679) - you deserved it (5096)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35596) - you deserved it (3697)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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