Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/22/2015 at 5:22am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 November 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1202
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 53 posted

About ktm71125 : United States Marine Corps

How many fucks I give about how many FMLs I posted : 0

Combat vet who served in Anbar Province, I fought deep into Fallujah and also Ramadi. Picture of the soldier isn't me, just a really beautiful photo. The other one is my little pup.

Not sure why but if you want to message me you can. Sometimes I'm on this app and sometimes I'm not, so hopefully you'd hit me by luck.

ktm71125's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 12:10pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 7:48pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:54pm<b>BandAid1865</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 11:30am<b>missadell</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:46pm<b>QueenJay81</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:21am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:05pm<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:52am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:33pm<b>LilyLi</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:24pm<b>3nick3</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:04pm<b>sam882</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:03am<b>bmon</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 4:02am<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:36am<b>symfora</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:23am<b>nicolemf4</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:49pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:10pm<b>StraightUpBaller</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:23pm

Fucked!<b>symfora</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:24am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:07am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:55am<b>JuliaaNoelle</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:31am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 12:56am<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 4:23am

ktm71125's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of ktm71125's badges

ktm71125's favorite FMLs

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11768) - you deserved it (41060)

On 10/11/2015 at 7:45am - kids - by Hank-T4 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my wedding celebration came to an awkward pause when my dad slapped my mom across the face and called her a whore after she admitted to having an affair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29433) - you deserved it (1686)

On 10/10/2015 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I witnessed a man die from a heart attack. When I told my dad later, he said "Lose some weight or you'll be next." FML


I agree, your life sucks (23396) - you deserved it (5030)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Annienomous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24715) - you deserved it (1911)

On 10/06/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (3557)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:40am - intimacy - by shitty shit - United States (Indiana)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17754) - you deserved it (33289)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (30164)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (4202)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25533) - you deserved it (39060)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44692) - you deserved it (4181)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48917) - you deserved it (5241)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (49645) - you deserved it (9214)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49432) - you deserved it (5307)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45338) - you deserved it (8342)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: