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krisnick's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
krisnick's favorite FMLs
by fuck / 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, I'm grieving over the death of my best friend of 9 years. My mom wasted no time arriving at the conclusion that I must be hormonal and pregnant with his child. Apparently it's not normal for a woman to cry so much over a man, unless they've been fucking. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2015 at 12:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Ma_Nikka / 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML
by sucked_in / 07/22/2015 at 10:32pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML
by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 1:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a girl called me a racist, stereotyping asshole. All I did was ask a kid who happens to be Asian to tutor me in math. Which I didn't do just because he's Asian, but rather because he's in college and is actually a brilliant mathematician. FML
by yep, she does have a tumblr / 07/17/2015 at 10:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Lukey1028 / 07/13/2015 at 9:07pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2015 at 2:13am / Australia / Work
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Kids
Today, I finally hooked up with my longtime crush. I told all my friends about it, because of course I was really excited. Until later that night, when he texted me, telling me not to tell anyone what had happened, and that it was a one time deal. Oh, and right after that, he asked me for nudes. FML
by roxieee234 / 07/10/2015 at 1:24am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids
Today, I was at work at a supermarket straightening shelves in the food aisles. Just as I had finished and got ready to clock out, I heard a giant crash. A lady in a motor scooter knocked over an entire aisle of canned goods. She got up and walked away just fine, pretending nothing happened. FML
by acidonymous / 07/09/2015 at 12:32am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML
by ZiggyTink / 07/08/2015 at 11:24pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by momoftheyearedition / 07/08/2015 at 11:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
- Today, I was on the brink of moving in with my boyfriend of seven years. At the last minute, I was… Today, a customer bitched at me in front of her children for 10 minutes because I wouldn't open the… Today, my girlfriend and I woke up in a frisky mood and after a very quick glance around the house…