About krez :
I am an adult, although I don't always act like one.
I am a single parent and a part-time gamer.
I am a computer programmer, a scientist, and a super genius.
I am a minister and an atheist, which in retrospect is kind of funny.
I am only here for the schadenfreude, although you can message me if that is your thing.
About krez :
krez's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
krez's favorite FMLs
by appaluver / 09/03/2011 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML
by BerzerkelyBongBabe / 08/23/2011 at 5:55pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML
by ddeit / 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML
by Anon / 08/04/2011 at 4:30am / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML
by mperh / 05/28/2011 at 8:46am / United States / Transportation
by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2011 at 7:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
by Anonymous / 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Geek
by fourfootnine / 03/07/2011 at 8:47am / United States (Texas) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I was in the middle of watching this awesome show on Hulu. I was halfway through the season… Today, I spent two hours in the rain at a concert waiting for my favorite band to come on. The show… Today, I found out that a very close friend of mine masturbates to photos of me on my Instagram and…