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Offline (the 10/16/2016 at 9:07am)



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  • Number of visits : 92
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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krclimbing's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

krclimbing's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother goes, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" and my mom says "I'm a headmaster", and my dad goes, "Oh yeah she is." FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML

by Sandman2015 / 01/29/2016 at 1:36pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

by parasheeeet / 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I tried to hold my new boyfriend's hand while on a date. He let go quickly though, letting me know that we aren't at "that stage" of the relationship yet. We've been having sex for two weeks now. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2015 at 12:10am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

by KasSmoke / 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

by pissed off / 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

by cuntocracy / 01/21/2014 at 5:27pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health