About krad204 : Graduated from Yale with a PhD and a bachelors degree. But now I work at a local dive bar making ~ $100 an hour by just shamelessly flirting. Finally bought the place with the money I made working there! I'm gonna make it rain!!!
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krad204's favorite FMLs
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
by Anonymous / 07/31/2016 at 10:19am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told I'm not invited to my best friend's birthday party. Apparently, being divorced and childless doesn't "mesh" well with the rest of the group. My parents are still watching her kids so she can go away for the weekend. FML
by Foreveralone / 07/22/2016 at 4:54am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Sunshinenwhiskey / 05/05/2016 at 11:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/10/2016 at 5:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
by ruserious / 08/07/2015 at 7:24am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by MonsterProblems / 01/07/2015 at 2:07am / Croatia / Health
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
by In urgent need of a new roommate / 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love
by Tara115 / 02/09/2014 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML
by KathleenSchuler / 03/04/2013 at 10:38pm / United States / Work
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
by 3.14 / 02/08/2012 at 6:27am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by bad luck? / 01/19/2012 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by jc2011 / 09/25/2011 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…