About krad204 : Graduated from Yale with a PhD and a bachelors degree. But now I work at a local dive bar making ~ $100 an hour by just shamelessly flirting. Finally bought the place with the money I made working there! I'm gonna make it rain!!!
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krad204's favorite FMLs
by Sunshinenwhiskey / 05/05/2016 at 11:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/10/2016 at 5:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
by ruserious / 08/07/2015 at 7:24am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by MonsterProblems / 01/07/2015 at 2:07am / Croatia / Health
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
by In urgent need of a new roommate / 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love
by Tara115 / 02/09/2014 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML
by KathleenSchuler / 03/04/2013 at 10:38pm / United States / Work
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
by 3.14 / 02/08/2012 at 6:27am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by bad luck? / 01/19/2012 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by jc2011 / 09/25/2011 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML
by toriforever / 07/05/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML
by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…