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Offline (the 10/23/2016 at 9:23pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1246
  • Number of comments : 223
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kozzard : Things

kozzard's page activity

Visits<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 12:44am<b>JARRKKKD</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:53pm<b>ryan4723</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 7:37pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:28pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 2:45pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 3:40am<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:02am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 9:37pm<b>ken29</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 3:14am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:10pm<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 8:09pm<b>TPH1979</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 12:33pm<b>thehappycamper</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 4:26pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 3:31pm<b>BasketCase092</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 1:26am<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 6:06pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 2:16pm<b>viperlead</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:21pm

Fucked!<b>fakedsincerity</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:00am

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kozzard's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2015 at 7:08pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML

by Malíya / 05/04/2015 at 5:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 1:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was called a fascist and accused of being "racist" against poor people, all because some crazy meth-mouthed bitch couldn't afford some booze and expected me to cut the price by almost 40% so she could. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 11:18am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I told my parents about the amazing guy I met. My mom immediately stormed out. My dad got up, looked at me and told me he's disappointed in me for "falling into the traps of the Internet," and leaves. I didn't meet him on the Internet. FML

by littlekellilee / 02/28/2014 at 9:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

by InsertPopcicle / 11/22/2013 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 12:33am / Kids

Today, l grounded my 17-year-old son from his computer because of his terrible attitude towards his homework. As payback, he convinced my 5-year-old daughter that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up. I now have a hysterical and sleepless child to deal with. FML

by PIGaming / 10/28/2013 at 1:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

by getmeoutofthiscountry / 07/19/2013 at 3:06pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

by okay then / 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

by fish killer / 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm / Canada / Animals

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

by VMV / 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm / United States / Love