Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kobra33

Offline (the 05/19/2015 at 10:56pm) | Search for a member

kobra33

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 500
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kobra33's page activity

Visits<b>catherine012</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:22pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:00pm<b>xxlinneamxx</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:48pm<b>archnarquibquib</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:58am<b>GoodRiddance</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 7:04pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 8:42pm<b>PandaPowerr</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:06pm<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 11:22pm<b>iwanttogotoparis</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:15am<b>FreestylePython</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:31am

Fucked!<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 6:41pm

kobra33's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of kobra33's badges

kobra33's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

#21410853
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (2708)

On 05/16/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29434) - you deserved it (1990)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was being chased by the cops, not because I'm a criminal but because I thought the SUV with red and blue lights was an ambulance, not a police officer trying to pull me over. I kept weaving out of his way for 5 minutes before I finally figured it out, and got my first ever ticket. FML

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

#21407716
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (6982)

On 05/10/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by pissed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the airport a full three hours before my flight departure time just to be on the safe side. I ended up having the best nap of my life and missing my flight. FML

#21407249
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (8881)

On 05/09/2015 at 1:13pm - misc - by Rar (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18156) - you deserved it (34220)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (2787)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31185) - you deserved it (4286)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (2491)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

#21386816
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26073) - you deserved it (7587)

On 04/03/2015 at 12:37am - work - by eaglesmile - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year old guy. FML

#21386588
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you deserved it (7728)

On 04/02/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Jordan (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

#21386448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (2491)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

#21327640
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (4508)

On 12/31/2014 at 3:08am - misc - by driverboy - United States

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32896) - you deserved it (3399)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51552) - you deserved it (5104)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: