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knotcool's favorite FMLs
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
by Seriously? / 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
by fedexed / 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Work
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- Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't… Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom,… Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off,…