kmiller194

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kmiller194

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  • Number of visits : 1784
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kmiller194's page activity

Visits<b>GemmaAnne</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:03pm<b>InfamousRaider</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 3:47am

kmiller194's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

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kmiller194's favorite FMLs

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

by JuggaloSlasher15 / 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

by fuck my arse / 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

by names suck and so do I / 08/08/2013 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Love

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 7:10am / Latvia (Jelgavas) / Health

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

by AnnoyedByFriends / 08/08/2013 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

by NextAmericanIdol? / 08/08/2013 at 12:09am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

by shampoomice / 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML

by noiguessitsbroken :( / 08/07/2013 at 8:24am / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard / 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm / United States / Love