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kman1759

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kman1759
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2077
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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kman1759's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you deserved it (2696)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

#20007431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19937) - you deserved it (5445)

On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML

#19994293
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (1917)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:21am - misc - by loser (man) - United States

Today, I received my best compliment of the year so far when an ER doctor commented positively on the clarity of my urine sample. FML

#19992508
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16342) - you deserved it (1793)

On 07/30/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28119) - you deserved it (3397)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29689) - you deserved it (1161)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

#19824273
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18709) - you deserved it (9055)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by igiveup (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (2570) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29263) - you deserved it (8171)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44616) - you deserved it (4944)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42700) - you deserved it (2953)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26176) - you deserved it (2554)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

#19169657
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27864) - you deserved it (3779)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML

#19109811
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (16522)

On 02/18/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Lilah - Canada (British Columbia)



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