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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2180
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kjoseph98's page activity

Visits<b>Ololo</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 6:12am<b>Vidrill</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 12:10am<b>bhou56</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 11:42pm

kjoseph98's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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kjoseph98's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

by whitefox123 / 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

by mandy16 / 09/03/2010 at 11:43pm / Health

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2010 at 5:15am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

by fartingdogprego / 07/23/2010 at 9:18am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

by fmlpanda / 05/29/2010 at 12:14am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

by Kevin / 03/10/2010 at 3:39am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

by kappaomicron / 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 3:39am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2009 at 1:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

by damnit / 10/16/2009 at 1:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML

by bubbles / 10/12/2009 at 1:36am / United States / Animals